My Raw Unscripted Life

You stand here eyes wide and unblinking
surveying the wreckage of a dream
and the fact that you do not collapse
is the proof of your own steadying beam

What you name is not a failure of the heart
nor a love that has withered or died
it is simply the loss of a picture
the once upon a time you kept inside

You did not lose him
You lost the imagined dance
the ease you thought would arrive by habit
the symmetry you expected from a glance
the myth that alignment is always a smooth road
rather than a teacher with a holy load

That grief is real and deserves its own space
but look at the cards and the shift in their face
Perfect harmony is a ghost of sameness
a song you already know by heart
But evolutionary love is the practice of attunement
the skill of staying when the friction starts

Ray is not the melody you hummed in your sleep
he is the instrument demanding and deep
teaching you to listen with a brand new ear
to hear the music beyond the fear

You are not settling for less
You are staying present in the mess

If he gave you the perfect rhythm you craved
you would be comfortable familiar and saved
but you would be quiet and not yet this vast
you would be tethered to a ghost of the past

Instead look at what you have become
a student of pacing no longer on the run
a master of regulation when the pulse starts to climb
a heart that allows incompleteness its own space and time

You can mourn the story you carefully drew
while staying open to the one that is sculpting you
You are not behind and you are not wrong
you are just learning a much more difficult song

You are in the middle of becoming