My Raw Unscripted Life

It is not a lack of vision
or a heart that’s lost its way.
It is the nervous system’s need
to keep the ache at bay.
The search is not for someone new
or a different hand to hold.
It’s a quick and clever remedy
to stop the sudden cold.

When the rhythm of a real thing
starts to slow or feel unclear.
Your body looks for logic
to quiet down the fear.
The mind provides a shortcut
to a sense of being seen.
A fast and easy comfort
to muffle what is lean.

The “now” is what you’re seeking
when the waiting feels too vast.
A way to bypass longing
and to make the silence pass.
It isn’t about loyalty
or the depth of what you feel.
It’s a strategy for regulation
when the vulnerability is real.

True intimacy has its gaps
and pauses in the flow.
Where desire has no landing spot
and the timing moves too slow.
We try to fill those hollows
with a low-risk, steady light.
A way to feel we’re chosen
in the middle of the night.

But the pattern breaks its promise
once the static starts to fade.
Because it cannot offer
the connection that you’ve made.
It is noise against the resonance
of being truly known.
A fleeting bit of company
that leaves you more alone.

You are moving toward a presence
that is patient and is deep.
Away from quick availability
and the promises it can’t keep.
You are learning how to sit
within the hunger and the wait.
To trust the heart is steady
even when the hour is late.

So do not call it failure
when you reach for the old key.
It’s a bridge your system’s building
toward the person you will be.
You’re just learning how to handle
all the weight that longing brings.
While you trade the fast-paced shadows
for the slow and holy things.